Recommendation/Book Review:

Thin Places, a memoir by Mary E. DeMuth is being released today by Zondervan Publishing. I had the privilege of reading an advance copy.
It isn't a book for everyone. But if you've had a life of heartaches, Mary's search through her past may take you to the “thin places” also.
She removes the multi-layered masks of her life so you, the reader, can see how her heartaches of abuse, abandonment, addiction and more are in the on-going process of God's healing love. She calls the “thin places” those “snatches of holy ground, tucked into the corner of our world, where we might just catch a glimpse of eternity. They are aha moments, the beautiful realizations.”
It is not a happy-ever-after book in the sense of being sugar-coated with total, instant healing. It is a long, winding road of hope, as she puts it: (of) my titantic struggle with God's love for me...He loves me, this I know. And yet I struggle. Because I don't measure up. My mind says yes, but my heart says,”He will love me ONLY IF I...”
Sound familiar? It did to me.
Mary's deep love of God flows throughout her unforgettable story. It may be just what you need to give you hope... to bring you closer to the Lover of your Soul.

No t-shirt

Ended up with my right hand in a splint due to infection. Reminds me of a poem called "Shelf Life," It talks of those times when your confined- usually at home- and you're unable to do what was planned. Whatever the reason, we're put on the shelf for a reason.We need to be contend and rest, but that's not easy for most of us.

Well, this chipped cup called "me" is on the shelf & trying to rest. I have a tendency toward depression at times like this. My head and heart understand, but my emotions aren't matching up. I need to keep upbeat music on, keep my blinds open to the sunshine, read encouraging books, share my need with a close friend and, if it warms up, go for a walk.

I also need to keep my cup clean- no negative thoughts. Wash them right out!

When I look back, my shelf life times really weren't very long. It just seemed that way at the time. So I know I'll be filled and overflowing in no time.

How do you cope with your "shelf life" times?

Rejection

I just visited a website with t-shirts for writers. One design proclaimed being rejected!

As a writer, I've received a variety of rejections. As a child then an adult, I've been rejected. So what is there to proclaim, like a walking billboard, about rejection? I had to think on it for a bit.

With the wisdom of reaching the "golden years," I've decied rejection isn't all bad. It is an opportunity!

I will be a student for as long as I am able to read. I love learning new things. In fact, I am taking Beginning Biblical Hebrew so I can study scripture better. I am learning new things everyday via the Internet. including new ways to use this cyber-space technology.

So rejection can be an opportunity to learn, to tighten up my writing, to recognize what my readers are searching for, to fine tune my submissions.

Finally, I appreciate rejections of my writing, especially when they say why, versus nothing. (I have to admit, I don't like the unknown. Tell me why then I can improve.)

Life's rejections can be harder to cope with.One thing to understand is they are not always personal. Sometimes it is just the wrong time... the wrong place... or someone is having a bad day that's not associated with you at all.

One rejection that knock the wind out of my sails was when I was fired for being too compassionate. Excuse me? Isn't that what Hospice nursing is all about? Once I could stand back & be more objective, I realized why I was actually fired; and that three other good nurses had been fired in the few months I'd been there. We were all due for raises. We were a means of balancing the budget. As long the administrator could keep hiring, she was paying low salaries. And her means of coping with complaints was either "she's new" or by firing that person to keep the client happy. It didn't matter whether the complaint was legitimate or not.

Who actually had the problem? The administrator. I was a good Hospice nurse. Also I had administrative experience and may have been seen as a threat. Finally, I was hired to solve a problem that had occurred with physicians at various hospitals. I had solved that issue at each hospital.

Once I calmed down, my sadness was for my patients, who would never know why I didn't return. As for me,
another opportunity came, which resulted in a better paying job with set hours and much less stress.

If I am rejected for being too compassionate, so be it. That's a trait I want!

Being rejected, as a writer, is part of the "dues" most writers pay so maybe I'll consider getting one of those t-shirts. What do you think?

At the Well

The walk to the well is usually a time of catching up on the village news, but I left early this morning so I wouldn’t meet the others. As Mary’s pregnancy is more evident, the barbed remarks have increased. This morning, of all mornings, I just couldn’t face them. My tears won’t stop. I am afraid for Mary. It is too close to her time to be traveling all the way to Bethlehem.

Yes, I know Joseph will take care of her, Lord, but couldn’t you have delayed the census a little while? Is this old lady’s request too much for you, Almighty G-d? Would it have too hard to have Mary’s needs considered? After all, she sings with great joy that you have chosen her. Yet you let her travel? Have mercy, G-d on this old woman. Forgive my arrogance. I just love my granddaughter and fear for her and the baby she’ll soon deliver. Lord, can you give me a sign… a little one perhaps? To show me that Mary is well?

The tears continued to flow, as I neared the well.

Oy, at least I can draw the water without the other woman smiling while looking at one another with their “I know the real story” expressions. I don’t even understand… how could they?

“Woman, why are you weeping?”

Frightened, I turned to see a Roman soldier looking down at me.

What does one say to a Roman? He knows nothing about women’s trials or the promised Messiah.

“Forgive an old lady, Sir. I am worried about my granddaughter traveling all the way to Bethlehem for the census.”

“So you weep? I thought you Jews trusted your god to take care of everything!” He turned and marched off laughing.

I sank to my knees and wept bitterly.

My G-d, forgive me. A sign… I ask for a sign and you send me a Roman soldier. Oy, after all these years, this old woman still doubts . . . still doesn’t put all her trust in you. Forgive this old woman once again. You alone know why Mary must make this journey. Why she is with child that’s not Joseph’s; and yet he trusts you and takes her into his home. My G-d, my G-d, help this old woman to understand . . . to trust in you in all things. Until the Messiah comes, I am your servant.

Little did I know that as I wept at the well, Mary, too, was weeping as she knelt in the hay before the manger that cradled her newborn baby. A son, as G-d had said. To be named Jesus, as Joseph had been told. Yes, Mary wept with both joy and fear as she pondered all that was and was to come.

This great-grandmother will not live to see this little one grow into a man. But I will serve the Lord faithfully all my remaining days, as I promised that quiet morning at the well.

~ ~ ~

This writer spent the birthday of the Messiah at home alone and also in tears. Illness kept me from my family and I wept for understanding… for the loss of memory-building moments with my grandchildren and son.
I, too, asked for a sign that God was with me for it didn’t feel that way. No Roman soldier appeared. No sign… just the loneliness, and the feeling of being rejected.

The next day, I asked the Lord, “What was I suppose to learn throughout the day of tears?” He gave me the story of the anxious great-grandmother, who, even though she loved the Lord, struggled with the unknown. Her fears were real. For Jesus, who left His throne to be born frail and helpless in a stable, and came to deliver the news of hope and forgiveness, was rejected and despised. What loneliness He must have felt as He hung upon the cross for us!

Then, like that great-grandmother, I knelt at the Well of Living Water and prayed, My G-d, forgive me. After all these years, this old woman still doubts . . . still doesn’t place all her trust in you. Forgive this old woman once again. My G-d, help this woman to trust in you in all circumstances and for all things. And until the Messiah comes again, I am your servant.

[Christmas 2009]

Mary kept all hese things to herself; holding them dear, deep within her. (Luke 2:19b The Message)

Child Within

a gasp, a cry
an exhausted mother's sigh
a father's teardrops
a heavenly umbilical cord cut and tied

a sweet aroma of fresh hay
a tiny gurgle as rosebud lips find milk
a whispered prayer
a naming as God commanded

a squeak of rafters as birds and mice gather
a gentle breeze to fan the fire
a clip and clop of a donkey's feet
a quiet baa-aa and a gentle moo

a ray of starlight
a flutter of angel wings
a silence
a moment realizing God's sacrifice- His only Son

a yip of a sheepdog on th hillside
an owl's hoot as he hunts
a rowdy laugh from the inn
a braying camel on the dusty road

a mother and babe sleep
a father watches
an angel guards
a world waits

May you be blessed with a quietness in your soul on this special day.

Selah...

Shalom, Connie

Season of Miracles

The eight day Hanukkah celebration is drawing to a close and I have been blessed because of it.


Just a glance at the menorhea/hanukkiah causes me to pause and reflect upon God's many gifts to us. Hannukah, also known as the Feast of Lights or the Season of Miracles has been a perfect Advent time of preparation for me. As a child, Jesus would have lit the candles and spun the dreidel with His family. That thought draws me closer to Him- a man of perfection, who left His throne to be born as a helpless baby to an ordinary couple so
He could teach and later give Himself for us.
In the game, each letter has a meaning:


nun = you get none
shin = put one in
gimmel = take all
hey = you get half





For me they also mean: nun = none of my sin will matter as I walk with Jesus
shin = add a blessing & many more will return
gimmel = Jesus gave His all for me... for you
hey = I may be only able to give half,
but Jesus gives no less than 100%





As I remove the golden foil around my geld to sample it's chocolate delight, I know the streets of gold and a mansion await me. When He calls me home, I will be forever rejoicing and singing His praises with the angels!





For now, I am content to savor my chocolate coins and to renew my promise to walk and talk with Him.

Good mornin' Lord, It's so nice to meet You.

Good mornin' Lord, it's so nice to know

That You'll walk with me

And talk with me

Where ever I may go.

Well, good mornin' Lord, good mornin' Lord!

Selah...

Shalom, Connie

HANUKKAH

This evening at sundown, the first candle or light for the Feast of Dedication or Hanukkah is lit. And I am excited to celebrate, for the first time, a special feast that scripture tells us Jesus also celebrated. (See John 10:22; note also the miracles that occur in chapters 9 and 10.)
The Feast of Dedication or Hanukkah has also been called the Season of Miracles. It celebrates the reclaiming, cleansing & re-dedication of the temple with 8 days of festive remembrance.
Because this is new to me, I have been researching & asking questions that have taught me more exciting things about the Lord. I'd like to share with you!
First, I'd never caught the significance found in John 10:22. I didn't connect "Feast of Dedication" as being Hanukkah. I've loved learning that & sharing with my grandchildren that Jesus celebrated Hanukkah also. We're going to play the dreidel game tonight like He did!
As we read the story of Hanukkah's coming to be and discussed the monorah, it was fun listening to my three and one-half year old put it all together. She, of course, knows the song "This Little Light of Mine," and easily put it together that even one little candle can light up our world.
As a Messianic believer, the tallest candle, which is lit first & lights all the others, is the perfect picture of Christ, our Light of the World. By the way, some Advent candle wreaths place the Christ Candle taller also.
One thing before I tell you what happened that required the cleansing and re-dedication of the temple, you need to know that the purification process of the oil for the temple's menorah required 8 days.
Now, let's go back in time. Alexander the Great in Greece is dying. He gives his kingdom to four of his best men. One of those four is Antiochus Epiphanies; his heir, enters Isreal kills 40,000 with no remorse, & sent out an edict to end circumcision, reading of scripture & worship.
Horrible consequences resulted. Then he defiled the Temples of God.
After many deaths & atrocities, Judah Maccabee led the battle as directed by God. A small band of men against 105,000 or more, but they were for fighting for the Lord. The undefeated Syrian army was defeated as God promised!
The Temple was rebuilt and cleansed; the altar made brand new; & one flask of oil found.
The menorah was lit with but one day of oil & remain bright for the EIGHT days of celebrating the defeat of the bad guys.
I can imagine the shock, horror & surprise of the Syrian army as they went down to defeat by a small group of ordinary men... with an extraordinary God! And can you invasion the miracles that must have been occurring to protect that small band of men?
A picture of God's mighty power, His love for His people & His caring about a small detail of oil for the menorah.

Blessed are You, Lord God, King of the Universe,
Who commanded us to live as children
of the Light through Yeshua our Messiah.