... Even the worst heartaches can become heartstrings to God's hope, comfort, encouragement, joy, peace and love...

Welcome! As a fan of the cartoon character Maxine, I enjoy her witty remarks. But when I
read my blogs & other writing to her, she's not very responsive- even when I'm wearing my bunny slippers like hers! She just doesn't get it!
Although she's funnier than I am, I do pray that this site will bring encouragement to your day! I'd love to hear from you! Unlike Maxine, you can leave me a message via the Comments. Shalom, Connie


Monday, October 16, 2006

Falling Down & Not Getting Up

Her daughter was so faithful; she stopped every few days to visit with Mom; bought her groceries and medicine, took her to the doctor when needed, etc. But her daughter had not had a vacation in years & needed to get away. So she called a group of her Mom's friends to check on her while she was gone for 2 weeks.

Freda was close to her daughter and encouraged her to take time for herself. But 2 weeks later when her daughter returned, Freda was found on the floor semi-conscious. Can you imagine the guilt her daughter was feeling?

Slowly the pieces of the puzzle began to come together. Freda had not been honest with her daughter about several things and was failing healthwise, but putting on a good show when her daughter was present. Secondly, Freda's friends did check on her every 2-3 days, but it was by phone. No one stopped by. The doctors determined that Freda had fallen and was on the floor for 2-3 days. As they treated her dehydration with IV fluids and restarted her medication, her mind cleared. Yes, she'd fallen over some things she'd left by her favorite chair, could not get up, and could not reach the phone. The last person to phone her wasn't concerned that she didn't answer because her daughter was due back any day.

Of course, her friends felt horrible when they heard what had happened. But Freda had to admit that she'd become absent minded and wasn't sure whether she had eaten or taken her medications. Her daughter had never had a reason to count her pills as they always ran out when they were due to be refilled. On hind sight, no one knew, if the medication had been taken as directed.

I met Freda when she came to live- temporarily- at the nursing home where I was the Director of Nursing. She was angry at the doctors for suggesting a nursing home, even more angry with her daughter, who agreed with the doctors. And she was very angry with me as I represented the nursing home. During those first days, I counseled her daughter as she worked through her guilty feelings; and I counseled Freda in an attempt to help her adjust to the changes in her life.

In the end, Freda chose to stay at the nursing home so her "daughter could have a life." She became an advocate for all new patients. Through her the Sunshine Committee was formed; the ladies and men involved helped all new patients get acquainted and adjust to their new home.
Freda & her daughter had quality time together- they pllayed cards and games, put together puzzles, went to movies, and out to eat. All the fun things they never got around to doing before.
Freda loved playing Bingo, doing crafts, planning various events with the activity staff, and gossiping. (If I wanted to know what was really going on, I'd just check in with Freda!)

2 years later Freda had a stroke, but we were there to care for her. She improved greatly and started a stroke support group. A year later she had a fatal stroke, but you can see that she lived her life to its fullest.

Her daughter, my staff, other patients and I have always felt blessed having known her.

The real proof of knowing Christ is in our actions; one way is to be a friend to the lonely. Freda did that even as a nursing home patient herself. Who can you be a friend to? That friendship can change eternity!


Shalom, Connie

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