Fatigue Can Overwhelm

I love the cartoon Maxine; she says things... well, in a way I wouldn't. There is one where she's resting in a hammock & just letting the world carry on without her. I have had to try that lately because I tire very easily & get short of breath with exertion, I am pacing myself better & prioritizing my needed activities. I make sure I have rest times in between all that I do.
The cause is unknown at present. I am having a cardiac Stress Test tomorrow to rule out the heart as the cause.

Meanwhile, I haven't posted so I can use my computer time to prepare for my next God-Event. More on that later as it falls into place with His timing. 2 Corinthians12:9 never meant more to me than now. And Habakkuk 2:2 is my goal.

Today I want to recommend 2 novels by Brenda Rickman Vantrease: The Illuminator and The Mercy Seeker. Although they can be read as stand alone books, The Illuminator is first & sets the scene & characters for The Mercy Seeker. Although not sold as Christian books they truly are and I guarantee that you will never view the Bible the same after reading them Yes, they are fiction, They are based on historical fact, are well researched, & expertly writing. You can find them at bookstores & through Amazon. My little local library has them so check out yours because they are hardcovers.

Shalom, Connie

Enjoy!

Christian MySpace Graphics

HopeKeepers

Rest Ministries* was founded by Lisa Copen & is affiliated with Joni and Friends to encourage those with chronic illnesses & chronic pain to live a full, quality life regardless of barriers. All members have at least one chronic illness &/or chronic pain, including myself. (I am a diabetic with hypertension, arthritis, degenerative joint disease & chronic depression.)

Today, I am facilitating the first HopeKeepers support group at the retirement center where I live. First we will get to know one another and exchange phone numbers. On bad days- days of not feeling well, of no energy, of increased pain- we can call each other to chat or to ask for prayer. Because of our bond via our chronic illnesses- often invisible to others- we will have an understanding that requires few words.

Outdoors the temperature is expected to rise near 100 degrees; inside, we'll be cool & comfortable as we share a poem, "Shelf Life," by Mariane Holbrook & discuss one of my devotionals, "Soaring Above Adversity."

It is with great joy that I begin this new opportunity of hope!

Shalom,
Connie

* "Rest Ministries, Inc. exists to serve people who live with chronic illness or pain by providing spiritual, emotional, relational and practical support." HopeKeepers Magazine and Rest Ministries Website are the foundation of their outreach.

Fireworks: A Celebration

The fireworks just ended & I had my choice of VIP seating. I live one mile from the Butte where they are traditionally displayed. I could sit on my patio or walk next door to the church's parking lot. I chose the latter; & had an unobstructed view of our country's birthday celebration.

Popcorn, lemonade, & other goodies were passed around during the oohs & aahs. A nice way to end the day with friends & fellow believers.

Sadly, conditions here in Central Oregon are very dry & resulted in several fires on the butte. Extra fire trucks came & the fire was controlled, but it is always sad to see trees burn. Thankfully the fire was going uphill. (Many businesses, apartments, & homes are at the bottom of the butte.)

The most important part of my day was earlier during a conversation with my 5 year old grandson. We talked about being free to be Christians, free to go to church, free to speak about God. He, of course, couldn't comprehend not talking about Jesus. And, you know, I really don't fully understand it either as I have never been in a country where it wasn't safe. The closest I have come is when writing to friends in Nigeria. They advised me what I could write & what to avoid so that my letter did not put them into any danger.

Yes, I was blessed to sit outside in the churchyard watching the amazing colors burst overhead with patriotic music playing through speakers behind us. I can think of no better place to say "Thank you, Lord, for the U.S.A.! Help me to understand the freedoms I have and to fully use them to worship, praise, and share Your Word."

Tomorrow & next few days will be 96-100 degrees with possible thunder & lightning- a very dangerous time for wildfires. Pray that homes & lives will not be lost. (Several acres burned today- one a few miles from me.)

Mask Removal Time

I told you that I would take off my mask and be honest with you, my readers.

Today, I remove the mask of deception.

I wanted to enter a competition for an Oregon Literary Art Fellowship even though the timing was short- only two days. (It was in our local newspaper on Tuesday and the deadline was Friday at 5 p.m.)

I filled out the form answering all the questions for the Non-Fiction Literary Award and for the Women Writers Award. Then I set about editing the first 20 or so pages of my book.

It was time consuming because the original was on my computer that crashed; thus I had to retype it as I edited it. On page five I lost it all!

The rules stated emphatically that no late entries would be accepted. If I could complete it by 4:30 p.m., I could mail it via overnight delivery; but I am not a fast enough typist to retype and edit the lost five pages plus 15 more to meet that dateline.

I was angry and thought I would write a letter to the Literary Art stating that Central Oregon writers were not allowed enough time to enter... but I didn’t.

Why not? Because I had taken all mention of God out of my story so I would have a better chance of winning the fellowship.

As a Christian writer, I write to glorify God, who called me to write. Ethel Herr wrote, “We tend to think we are first ministers with a pen. However, before we can minister, we must learn to worship and regard all our writing as an act of worship, done for God’s pleasure.”

I am thankful that I lost those pages. I am sad for the loss of a possible $2500 as it could have paid for additional writing lessons through The Christian Writers’ Guild and for their annual conference plus supplies, like ink cartridges, paper, and research.

Being “called to write,” I have a responsibility to glorify and please the One who called me. I cannot and will not wear that mask of deception again. By next year, I’ll be a better writer and I’ll enter The Literary Arts competition with a clear conscience.. As Ethel Herr puts it I must share openly and honestly what represents my genuine self or how can I show others how to face tension and solve problems.

What mask are you wearing today? Is it time to remove it?

Selah-

Shalom, Connie

Needling

My thumb is pain free & I am able to knit, embroider & do counted cross-stitch once again.

I am embroidering a floral picture for my niece's wedding in Sept. & the following gave me a giggle that I thought I'd share with YOU!




Sew Forth & Sew On

My needle vanished in thin air--
Most likely on this couch.
It's sure to reappear some where
If I keep looking.... OUCH!

-Mary Hamlett Goodman

Shalom, Connie

What Am I?

It's hard to imagine the life I've lived. It's been hard and rugged- not fit for any thing.
From the moment it began, my agony started- little boys throw me, cars forever run me over, people walk all over me, sweet little girls collect me, the snow buries me.
Everyday is just plain misery.
But, I know a secret! I am not very big- that's true- and, if I am thought about at all, I am considered useless.
Yes, I know a secret. I am needed even if am a __________________.

Fill in the blank via Comments & I'll share your answers.

Shalom, Connie

When Needlework Isn't Work

My grandson calls it "threading" when you make a picture using colored threads, yarns, beads, and other embellishments.

To me it is love in action as I stitch a picture of a basket filled with summer flowers for my niece's wedding.
To me it is an act of love when I knit a sweater for my grandchild.
To me it is privilege to finish the counted cross-stitch bookmark for a friend.
To me it is a passion fulfilled when I knit a prayer shawl for someone who is suffering.

Each stitch is completed with love and a prayer intertwined- they are my way of saying "I care!"

What do you do well that you can share?

Selah-

Shalom, Connie

Cans of Adventure

As a child, my favorite place to go was to the Boreman's* house. The 6 children had a list of chores and responsibilities that had to be completed before playtime. Although lacking money, the Boerman's were rich in togetherness, creativity, encouragement and love. Talents were encouraged & there was an old upright piano for sing-alongs.

Mealtime at the Boerman's was always adventure as the pantry was filled with unlabeled cans, which a nearby grocery store saved for them at a very low cost. Each meal one child was designated to pick out whatever number of cans were needed for that particular meal. The older girls and/or their mother- me, too, when I was visiting- made a meal out of whatever was in the chosen cans. We would shake them to guess their contents, but often we were wrong. Sometimes we ended up with unique soups filled with various vegetables. Other times we put together a casserole or a meal in-a-dish. Many laughs, sighs, and "ooh,no!'s" were heard as each can was opened. What we thought was soup may have been cranberry sauce or a can of fruit would turn out to be carrots. Somethings went together well; others... well, let's just say there were unique flavors at some meals.

I have to say that I never had a bad meal there for Mom Boerman was good with spices and herbs, and very innovative. We never left their table hungry for there usually was plenty of flour, sugar, eggs, and oil to make bread, muffins or other tummy fillers. We often played hide-and-seek or chased fireflies after the dinner dishes were done. And on weekends we'd play Michigan Rummy around the huge oak dining room table as we nibbled on popcorn or caramel corn, and drank kool-aide while our parents played cards in the kitchen or talked about homesteading in Alaska.

Those were special times. I saw the saying, "If there's a will, there's a way" in action. People have called me creative, and innovative, but I am not. I rarely come up with a new idea, but I am great at adapting ideas to whatever is available. Missing a couple ingredients for a recipe? Using what I have, I'll come up with a variation of that recipe. Working on a new craft project, I'll substitute the materials on hand or ones that I can afford, and I'll end up with a alternative craft project.

I don't think I realized how much of an influence Mom Boerman was in my life. Now it is too late to tell her.
Tomorrow I am going to send some notes to some of the other special people in my life.

Who do you have to thank? Don't wait... let them know they made a difference in your life!

Selah-

Shalom, Connie

* name changed for privacy

Oh, no!

I don't believe I did it! Worse, I don't know what I did.

But I injured my right hand- yep! the one I surgery on.

Today the x-ray was fine. Whew, I didn't mess up the surgical repair. My hand hurts a bit, but that's probably a good thing as it reminds me to be careful.

So I will rest it for another day or two then begin my next needlework project. That's all for today...

Shalom, Connie

On Empty

Filler-up!



Is this where I can fill up with new energy?
I'm tuckered out & need to be refreshed, rebuilt, or something...

I'm traveling through my days running on empty, but gas and an oil change won't restore my soul or yours. So let's read what David has to say in Psalm 6:

Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
I am worn out from groaning...
The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.

Like David I am faint, dizzy, and hurting. I cry out to You, O Lord, for restoration. Through faith I give thanks for refilling me with Your Living Water. As my soul is refreshed, You- the Great Physician- will heal my body as well. Your Word states that our groanings are heard by the Holy Spirit and brought to You to express what I cannot. Heal me body, mind & spirit so I can serve You as you have planned.

For my readers, I also ask Your mercy so we can reach out to others with the life-changing story of Your Son, in who's name I ask. Amen

R A F T'ing

I can't look...

Maybe a peek?

Wow, I am finding my way out from under the piles of papers. I'm RAFT'ing- no white water here- just pages and pages of white & pink paper, & other stuff.
I have created 5 piles:
Read & Save
Act on now
File
Toss
ing as for shredding

Next I am going to do the same with my e-mails by creating RAF folders; T is already there as Delete.

I think my life needs a bit of RAFTing, too. How about yours?

I need to:
Recognize what God wants me to be doing
Accept His plan & His timing
Faithfully follow His plan- without questioning it
Turn away from all the distractions & barriers

Selah-

Shalom, Connie

Three Strikes & You're Out!

I am not athletic- phys ed was always a challenge for me, but I did like volleyball, basketball & softball.
Yet I was always the last one chosen for the team- I wasn't a winner.

I enjoy the Peanuts cartoons that take place on the ball diamond... I can relate. I was better at taking care of injuries than playing ball. Or like Lucy, let me organize the team & give advice.

Over 20 years ago during a women's retreat, I wrote down what author/speaker, Joyce Landorf, said about playing ball:

"God, in the grandstands of life is throwing off His coat,
waving excitedly, as He points down at us on the field,
and proudly saying, 'That's My kid!'

"Not the image of a god with arms crossed, mumbling,
"I've paid a lot for those lessons; that kid better come through."
And keeping track of all mistakes- a scorekeeper.

"God paid dearly- the maximum price- when we win,
He shares proudly in the joy; and when we lose
He shares the sorrow. Yet always with pride."

I no longer fear the ump yelling, You're out!" I am sure glad that winning isn't a requirement just doing our best. For in God's eyes we are all winners! I am glad I am on His team.

Selah-

Shalom, Connie

Expectations

C.S. Lewis once said: When God moved in I thought He'd make everything cozy, instead He tore my house apart saying, "You thought I'd give you a cozy cottage; I'm making you into a palace!"
To enjoy the palace, we must withstand the mess first. For each of us "the mess" will be different, but together we suffer and will be blessed.

Are you in a mess today? I am! I am surrounded by piles of paper to sort and file, but I have hope that together we will persevere. Not because we are promised blessings, but because we desire to be what God planned for us to be.

While I had the cast on my right hand, I had to painstakingly write with with my left hand- it reminded me of learning cursive when I was little. I was intent upon forming each letter just perfectly and very neatly. It paid off! My handwriting is easy to read and folks- even strangers- comment on how beautifully I write. I purposed to write well. After all, I had lots to say!

Just as I perfected my handwriting skills, God wants to perfect me... and you. Even if it requires the messes of life, I am thankful that He loves us enough to be patient while we persevere and clean up each room in our house- the heart.


Selah-

Shalom, Connie

Rhubarb Fenced or Forbidden Fruit

There truly are some do not's in life that we really should pay attention to; like do not slide down the basement door, do not drink perfume, and do not pick the rhubarb on the other side of the fence.

At nine years old I was learning a bit about independence, which included testing the don'ts:

The outside basement door was at a 40 degree angle and had to be lifted up in order to enter the basement. I sure had no desire to go down there, but the instruction not to slide down the door prompted the question, "Why not?" Asking would have been considered "talking back," so I decided to experiment and figure it out myself. When no one was around, I tried it out. First, it wasn't slick enough to slide down... you had to, kind of, scoot down. Not really much fun- especially when you end up with a large splinter in your posterior you can't tell anyone about. (I still have the scar to remind me.)

Don't drink perfume- especially the expensive, smelly stuff from Europe- because your mother's nose will sniff you out! (I have no idea why I drank it, but it's alcohol content did not affect me so it probably wasn't much.)

The rhubarb belonged to our backyard neighbor, who hated children; it was turning a beautiful rosy red- so tempting! I had never heard of, nor tasted, rhubarb so I enlisted my brother to try it with me. After all, we would need a lookout. I'm not sure which one of us slipped under the fence to break off a stalk, but I remember that it wasn't easy to pick. Oh, and we didn't know that rhubarb needs to be cooked.. I learned to spit that day! Now, I love baking a strawberry rhubarb custard pie each spring while I chuckle about the old adage that stolen fruit always tastes better. NOT!

I did learn that "do nots" are best listened to when you are a child; and they don't go away when you grow up either. Like in the game of Monopoly, you may have to pass GO and go directly to jail for breaking the rules. As a grown-up, I appreciate that my parents taught me right from wrong. As a parent and grandparent, I have rules also, but I try to explain the reasons for each one in the hope that splinters and bad tasting fruit are not the result.

I want my life to be a "sweet savour" to my Heavenly Father: "Live a life filled with love for others, following the example of Christ, who loved you and gave himself as a sacrifice to take away your sins. And God was pleased, because that sacrifice was like sweet perfume to him." (Ephesians 5:2 NLT)

Selah-

Shalom, Connie

P.S. Stop on by for a slice of rhubarb pie!

Rocks In A Box

I was 9 years old with pigtails and a rock collection.

The world of words had opened new doors of adventure for me; and I had discovered the wonder of rocks. I had my own small hammer to break rocks open, numbered tags that correlated with my small notebook identifying each rock and stone using my library books.

It was a good pastime me, a shy girl with few friends. But, like my friends, I lost my rocks when we moved.

Now, over 50 years later, I wonder who found my rocks hidden under the back stairs of our house on Boerman Avenue. Did they realize how sad I was when my mother made me leave them behind during our next move? Did they realize the hours of work that went into finding new rocks and identifying them? Did they understand that those rocks became valuable lessons for my life? Or are they still hidden under those steps?

Lessons learned:
#1: Memories preserve all the important things in our lives- my rocks were never really lost.
#2: Each rock was and is unique- God's creations are similar, but always are a special blending of DNA.
#3: The beauty of my rocks was on the inside; & the discovery of that beauty was breathtaking
#4: Dirty rocks could always be washed cleaned- in fact, the dirt had to be removed in order to identify it.

Thus, the people in my life have been forever preserved within my memories. Each unique person is filled with great beauty, which is amazing when discovered once the troubles of life are washed away.

Dear Reader, that truly describes me and YOU! We are uniquely beautiful, a special part of God's plan. Always remember that we see the underside of our life's tapestry with its knots and tangles, and blotches of colors like blemishes hard on the eye BUT God sees the right-side, the perfect side that He designed just for each of us.

I left my rocks in a cardboard box underneath the steps, but God never leaves us. Our identification tags say Number One Child of the King!

Selah-

Shalom, Connie

The Unknown

Do you, like me, find it hard to cope with the unknown or the feeling of not being in control?

That is my feeling as I write this due to some health concerns I am experiencing. The good news is that I am not dealing with depression & I am hopeful that a medication change will eliminate my symptoms.

Between my hand surgery and this I have had lots of time to read. Have actually read a new book every 1-2 days. That adds up to quite a few! I will share a few with you that I enjoyed:

Mysteries:: No Place Like Home by Mary Higgins Clark- a woman-in-danger in true Mary Higgins Clark style
Twisted by Jonathon Kellerman- a woman homicide detective investigates a nightclub murder
False Testimony by Rose Connors- a woman lawyer must uncover the truth
This Dame For Hire by Sandra Scopettone- a sassy woman PI during WWII- a fun read!
Some Danger Involved by Will Thomas- an eccentric PI in Victorian London hires a new assistant
Fiction: The Glory Cloak by Patricia O'Brien- Louisa Alcott & Clara Barton's Civil War experiences as nurses
The Secret Live of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd- about "divine female power"- just remember it is fiction
Pearls of Lutra by Brian Jacques- 9th book in the Redwall series- all about animals, food, good & evil
The Celibate Priest & His Secretary by John Maybury- a local author's first novel was a good read
Daughter of Lot by Bonnie Winters- a fictional account of Ruth from Scripture & her inner struggles
Non-Fiction: Small Sacrifices by Ann Rule- the story of murderer Diane Downs, a compelling but sad book
Loving God by Charles Colson- an excellent book about holiness- living to honor & love God

Reading is a great distraction so I think I'll pick out my next book for this my "unknown" period.

Shalom, Connie

Stimulating Those Little Gray Cells

Since my last post, I have had 2 days of advanced training for Parish Nurses. Sessions included Theological Reflection and Spiritual Ministry.

Before my time, folks used to say, "You gotta be prayed up!" And that sure applies to Parish Nurses. We cannot minister to others unless we care for ourselves: mind, body & soul.

I am a fast learner (LOL). I feed my spirit and soul by attending a Christian Women's Conference for 1 1/2 days.
What a blessing it was!

Over the next few days I'll be sharing bits and pieces with you from both the training & the conference.

Shalom, Connie

"Little Ones to Him Belong"

Recently I watched an elephant family on PBS &, if I learned nothing else, I learned that you don't mess with a baby elephant. Not only will the mother come to its aid, so will all of the adult females. When a baby is in danger the female adults surround it like the covered wagons pulling into a tight circle when under attack.

A friend just put a poem on her website called "Listen to the Weeping Child" I encourage you to read it AND to act upon it. Go to http//:www. mariane holbrook. com (leave out the spaces) and click on home then poetry.

I want to mention that there are all kinds of abuse- physical, sexual, emotional- that can forever damage a child.

Here is a true example:
Being short has been a handicap in many ways, but one day, while shopping, it was an asset. I was hidden by a rack of coats & overheard a conversation that made me bristle with anger. The mother was trying on coats; once she found the one she liked, I heard her say, "You know what to do, but wait 'til I get a couple of aisles away."
A small voice replied okay.
As I came out from behind the rack, a pre-school aged child began crying and running down the aisle- in the opposite direction of her mother. Clerks quickly came and attempted to calm this distraught, lost child. It didn't take much imagination to realize that the coat would be taken out to their car and the mother would return for her lost child. It also was apparent that this wasn't the first time this ploy had been used.

Guess you could say, I became as angry as a mother elephant. I ran to the child & told her bluntly to turn off the crying. Told the shocked clerks to call a manager or security a.s.a.p. as a coat was being stolen. At first they hesitated, but thankfully someone picked up the phone. The child, having been caught, stopped crying to say an unkindly word to me, but I still was going to protect her.

To steal is bad enough. To teach a child to help you is reminiscent of Dicken's Fagin and his pickpocket boys.

Folks, there are times we need to circle the wagons, to become like mother elephants. Please, don't look the other way; don't think that someone else will do something.

That day I stopped an abusive mother; no one interceded for me when I was a child.

Selah-

No "shalom" today, Connie

This Is a Test

As a student, I dreaded surprise tests. As an adult, I get irritated when a my favorite music gets interrupted to test the emergency broadcast system. A couple of weeks ago, I was awaken by the fire alarm- wow is that loud! I pulled on my jeans, grabbed my purse & my sneakers, & out into the cold morning I went. There was no fire & by the time I put my shoes on, we could go back inside.

Those surprise tests showed me if I was really learning each day in class & as I studied at home. The radio or TV tests became important on 9/11. The fire alarm, caused by a oversensitive smoke detector, could save lives in my senior apartment building, if there really was a fire.

As a young nurse, I had a fire on my unit in the hospital. Later, lightning hit my house. As traumatic as they were, they were minimal compared to other trials and tests in my life: loosing a baby, becoming a widow at 27, nearly dying in surgery, being hit head-on by a drunk driver, being evicted with no where to go except my car, being fired for being "too compassionate," being unable to function because of constant pain and depression...

I'm sure you, too, can make a list of your life's unfair times.

But ponder this thought as I did today: "Without a test there can be no testimony." Simply put, without rain, we cannot appreciate the sunshine; without heartache, we cannot savor the times of peace; without sadness, we wouldn't recognize the joyful moments. It is the contrasts of life that color our world.

As Christians, we cannot identify the needs of others until we have been tested and comforted. Only then may we comfort others.

Yes, this is a test! What hardship are you going through today? Or is a time of peace and happiness? If you are trying to be the best that you can be in Christ, troubles are here or are coming for we are being molded, shaped, polished, refined, and perfected for eternity.

Selah-

Shalom, Connie