Woe Is Me-part 4

 In my previous posts, I have been sharing my experience with fatigue.Fatigue and self-absorption can lead to “pity parties.” As one inclined toward depression since my teens, I know from experience to recognize the signs of potential depression and to take positive action.

Inside my kitchen cabinet door, I have posted a list with signs of my depression and action to take. I know them well, but they are there as a reminder that I have conquered depression and can avoid it; if I recognize it early, and determine to conquer or at least control it.

Add fatigue to the equation. That complicates and limits the action that can be taken; e.g., going for a walk, inviting friends over, or do a good deed in secret are too energy consuming.

During a recent bout of being Pitiful Pearl, I decided to find a new way. Thus Pity Party Smashers was born.

When you are feeling sorry for yourself, you are totally self-absorbed as noted in a previous post. Rather than attempting to take the attention off yourself, which can be nearly impossible when you are so very tired, I focused on turning negative thoughts into positive ones.

Contentment is realizing what you do have rather than on your losses.

Therefore, I used a variety of writing prompts- grammar, spelling, punctuation and full sentences not needed here. The challenge is to write for 3-5 minutes (longer. if able) using any one or more of the prompts.

Let me use one as an example.

I am wearing…

This one is intended to get you to notice if you got dressed? Put on make-up? Combed your hair? Each one helps you feel better mentally. How about wearing that shirt which makes your eyes so brilliant blue. Or getting out that super soft shawl or afghan to comfort you. A spritz of cologne can up your mood.

Some days I did not have enough energy to get dressed, but I could have dusted my breasts with my Ciara powder that leaves a sparkle behind. I always feel special wearing it. So what if I’m in my lounging robe! So what if I have leads attached to a heart monitor.

PITY PARTY SMASHERS

a.k.a., Snap Out of It 

Out my window...

I am wearing…

I hear…

My favorite color…

A memory that makes me smile…

If money was no obstacle, I would…

I am inspired by…

I am learning…

My favorite Scripture is…

A book I recommend…

Over a cup of tea, let’s chat about…

I am so glad God…

A spiritual highlight…

I am praying…

I feel…

My favorite…

Music…

I am thankful…

A source of joy…

An important truth to remember…

My favorite quotation…

Upon completion, reread them then post your responses where they will seen easily as a reminder throughout your day. You can add to them throughout the day, as well. When no longer needed either toss them away OR write the outcome and save it to encourage you another day.

Suggestion: Keep the prompts on a 3”x5” index card in your purse or wallet. Pity Parties do not always happen at home.

I have used the above prompts several times during these weeks of confinement and found them effective in raising my spirits. In fact, I was writing a letter to a friend yet feeling down. So I wrote I was going to use my Pity Party Smashers right there in my letter. Before completing the letter my attitude was more positive and I even solved a problem I was stewing over unrelated to my feelings or my correspondence.

When my friend replied to my letter, she wrote, “I could see the change! You were glowing by the time you stopped writing.” 

We can feel like a “lonely petunia in an onion patch” and cry all day or we can move that petunia into a more positive atmosphere. I prefer to “snap out of it.”

Selah…

Connie

Next post: How Can You Give Your Best When Fatigued and Struggling?

Woe Is Me - Part 2 & 3

Fatigue leads to fears. For seniors, like me, those fears include becoming incapacitated, developing dementia, and dying.

For me, my immediate fear is that a diagnosis and treatment will not be found. If so, my current life-style will have to become permanent. The unknown is a fear in itself.

My call to write a book is the hope I cling to each day. I believe God will provide the time and the way to complete it. Therefore, I will accept the challenge to live each day the best* that I can in order to fulfill His plan for my life.

Selah… think on this.

Fatigue brings on loneliness- even when others are present. It stems from fickle feelings, such as, nobody understands what I’m going through, they act like I’m not sick at all, they wait on me like I’m incompetent, cannot they see I need some help? Unrealistic expectations on both sides end in conflict. Fatigue makes it difficult to resolve those conflicts.

I remember years ago that I had hepatitis as a complication of mononucleosis; however, I was not contagious. My dear neighbor made sure I had food and anything else that I needed, but she would not come into my house. Her fear was unfounded and I would have appreciated visiting with her, especially as I improved and slept less. My own parents would not come even though for my son, a first grader, who would have loved a trip to McDonalds^®… definitely more exciting than being stuck with a sick mother .

This time, I live alone and just want the comfort of someone peeking in on me. With little energy for conversation, we could have watched a movie together. Just someone’s presence was what I craved.

I might add, the person, who knows when not to talk, is an extra-special blessing.

As a Parish nurse, I often sat at a bedside without saying a word so the patient could rest. When something was needed, I was there. My presence brought comfort to the patient and the nurses were grateful to have another nurse’s eyes assessing the patient.

Selah… think on this.

Connie

* Future post: "What is the best?"