Woe Is Me - Part 2 & 3

Fatigue leads to fears. For seniors, like me, those fears include becoming incapacitated, developing dementia, and dying.

For me, my immediate fear is that a diagnosis and treatment will not be found. If so, my current life-style will have to become permanent. The unknown is a fear in itself.

My call to write a book is the hope I cling to each day. I believe God will provide the time and the way to complete it. Therefore, I will accept the challenge to live each day the best* that I can in order to fulfill His plan for my life.

Selah… think on this.

Fatigue brings on loneliness- even when others are present. It stems from fickle feelings, such as, nobody understands what I’m going through, they act like I’m not sick at all, they wait on me like I’m incompetent, cannot they see I need some help? Unrealistic expectations on both sides end in conflict. Fatigue makes it difficult to resolve those conflicts.

I remember years ago that I had hepatitis as a complication of mononucleosis; however, I was not contagious. My dear neighbor made sure I had food and anything else that I needed, but she would not come into my house. Her fear was unfounded and I would have appreciated visiting with her, especially as I improved and slept less. My own parents would not come even though for my son, a first grader, who would have loved a trip to McDonalds^®… definitely more exciting than being stuck with a sick mother .

This time, I live alone and just want the comfort of someone peeking in on me. With little energy for conversation, we could have watched a movie together. Just someone’s presence was what I craved.

I might add, the person, who knows when not to talk, is an extra-special blessing.

As a Parish nurse, I often sat at a bedside without saying a word so the patient could rest. When something was needed, I was there. My presence brought comfort to the patient and the nurses were grateful to have another nurse’s eyes assessing the patient.

Selah… think on this.

Connie

* Future post: "What is the best?"