Connie's Heartstrings

 

April 2, 2021

I love finding and saving quotations written by wise people who can put my feelings and thoughts into words better than I can:

 

    PLEASE BE AWARE ÑÐ:

                I AM TRYING MY HARDEST…

                       ALL THE TIME …

TO PUSH THOROUGH

THE PAIN

THE EXHAUSTION & FATIGUE

THE FOG & DYSCOGNITION

THE INSOMNIA

THE FEAR

THE GUILT

THE JUDGMENT

THE RELENTLESSNESS OF IT ALL…

ALL THE TIME.

                                                                          ~ Unknown

 

As I read this, I feel the unknown writer is speaking from experience. She understands how I feel most of the time. It is a daily journey, the ongoing challenge of having multiple chronic illnesses. Mostly, I balance things well.

I can be grateful for my caregivers that do the necessities so I can be content doing the things that bring me pleasure.

However, some days I must give myself permission to be not okay, to not keep pushing for a solution… a way to cope.

Today is one of those times. Maybe because it is Good Friday, and I am thinking about His suffering. Mine is deserved; His was a choice because He loves me… loves you.

¯ I Should Have Been Crucified ¯

G.J.                                                                          Gordon Jenson      

1. I was guilty with nothing to say, And they were coming to take me away; But then a voice from heaven was heard that said, “Let him go! Take me instead!”

2. Crown of thorns, the spear deep in His side, And the pain should have been mine; The rusty nails were meant for me. O, yes, Christ took them and let me go free!

Refrain

And I should have been crucified! I should have suffered and died! I should have hung on the cross in disgrace, But Jesus, God’s Son, took my place!

 

Saturday, April 3, 2021

A song recorded in the 1970s ends with: “I read the back of the book, and we win…” Today, I also know the ending, which we will celebrate tomorrow. For now, I wait in my tomb of hope and consider these words:

 

 

If Jesus were a man, the cross was murder.

But if Jesus were God, it was an offering.

If Jesus were a man, the cross was martyrdom.

But if He were God, then it was sacrifice.

If Jesus were a man, they took His life.

But if He were God, He laid it down willingly.

If Jesus were a man, we were compelled to admiration.

But if He were God, we are compelled to adoration.

 

If Jesus were a man, we need to stand

and take off our hats to Him.

But if He were God,

we need to bow and give our lives to Him! 

 

and I pray:

“May there be within this day

quiet moments, when I can rest in your presence,

sit for a while at your feet, be still, and simply listen.” [John Birch]

 

Selah~

Connie