My days for serving

               the Lord are numbered...

                              I must give Him my best.

At age 72, I am limited physically from doing what my heart desires. I had to work through the grieving process because chronic illness results in many losses. I had to restructure my life with lots of flexibility because...

 Thanks to oxygen 24/7.

Others days I can do a load of laundry, wash some dishes, or vacuum but I do things in small steps and rest in between.

I remember when my son was little and wouldn't take naps. Instead, I made him rest. 

He would lie quietly on his bed or on the sofa with a Matchbox car or a book for at least 20 minutes because Mommy needed the quiet times to reboot. I would read a book or do needlework. Sometimes we actually fell asleep. 

Now, all these years later this mommy/gramma requires quiet times most of the day.

It's easy to say I no longer can contribute anything to anyone and just have Pitiful Pearl days. (See previous posts.) However, I have a very valuable treasure:

TIME

Next post: My productive use of time.

Selah

Connie

Pity Party P.S.

Sample Of My Pity Party Bashers

My Pity Party Bashers

Out the window…    sunny and calm at present, blue sky; high of 80 predicted                        

               

I am so glad… 2 of my short stories were published  last month

I am wearing…   my blue nightgown  ~ I need to get dressed or I won't leave my apt.          

                        

A memory that makes me smile… my grandson's recent graduation

I hear…  occasional street traffic ~ I need to turn on some peppy music                             

                        

My favorite… things to do are knit, embroider, read, mentor, write, edit, watch movies. color, Sudoku puzzles, visit with friends, study Scripture

My favorite color… blue, purple & pink  ~ I need to wear a bright color                                    

  

Music… classical ~ need to turn on CD of upbeat music

I am inspired by… images of wise quotations, which I collect                                      

If money was no obstacle, I… would move to a larger (2 bedroom) senior retirement apt. with meals and housecleaning provided so I could concentrate on my writing & the things I enjoy. Plus there'd be more space for when my family visited.

I feel… sad because my son hasn't called since returning from vacation 3 days ago 

                                                    

I am thankful… my family had a happy and safe trip to their Oma & Opa's

My favorite poem…  Drop a Pepple in the Water about the ripple effect of our lives 

                                    

An important truth… I am the child and heir of the King of the Universe/the Lover of my soul

I am learning… how to adjust to my physical limitations, which is difficult for me 

                                          

A Spiritual highlight… sharing my Noah Study with a small group and online

My favorite smell…  lavender, yeast bread in the oven                                     

A source of joy… newly adopted grandson along with his big brother & big sister

I think…  I need to practice more what I recommend/talk about                                                    

Over a cup of tea, let’s chat… about happy memories

I am praying… for the Noah Study to draw us closer to God & 

                      to create a hunger for more in-depth studies                                             

A book I recommend… The Illuminator, a novel about the first English Bibles

My favorite Scripture… 1 Corinthians 2:6-16 to know the mind of God                            

A friend… Alene & Barb, life-long friends

A movie I recommend… WarRoom                              

My favorite flower… wisteria & plumeria

Normally, I/you would only write a few lines, I did all of the prompts as a sample. However, they are accurate today as I am writing them. Some would be different on other days.

Results: 

• Opened the blinds to increase the light in my apt.
• Got dressed; wearing a bright cheery red tee & a dab of lipstick.
• Thoughts of my friend Barb in Hawaii & the Hawaiian flowers led to playing a CD of Hawaiian music & fond memories.
• Invited a friend to chat with me while I did a load of laundry

Very tired but have a more positive attitude.

Selah~ think on these when next you have a down day.

Connie

             

Pity Party Bashers

Life's heartaches throw us off balance emotionally. Little things become big and the truly

big things become little. Your focus is on yourself and your troubles. Resolution

will bring balance. But until then, it is as if a dark veil is covering your face so 

you cannot see reality. Self-absorption is not easily fixed by setting aside your 

problems, reading Scripture and praying or concentration on someone worse off than you.

Nor do comments like “snap out of it” work.

It is difficult to focus on anything when energy levels are low. So I decided to stick 

with “me, me, me.” The idea being to shift from a negative to a more positive  picture of 

myself; thus removing that dark veil to reveal a brighter world.

What could I do from the confines of my recliner? Write! 

And the Pity Party Bashers were born.

I used writing prompts. Full sentences, good grammar, spelling, and punctuation are not 

required. Just scribble down a response.

Write for a minimum of 3 minutes using one or more of the following prompts:

Out the window…                                          I am so glad…

I am wearing…                                              A memory that makes me smile…

I hear…                                                       My favorite…

My favorite color…                                       Music…

I am inspired by…                                        If money was no obstacle, I…

I feel…                                                        I am thankful…

My favorite poem…                                       An important truth…

I am learning…                                             A Spiritual highlight…

My favorite smell…                                       A source of joy…

I think…                                                      Over a cup of tea, let’s chat…

I am praying…                                              A book I recommend…

My favorite Scripture…                               A friend…

A movie I recommend…                                 My favorite flower…

Save you responses and add to them later as needed. 

When Pitiful Pearl has left, you are done.

Ó 2015 Constance Gilbert

Pitiful Pearl

 

Illustrator William Steig was the creator of Pitiful Pearl. 

In the 1950s, Pitiful Pearl left the page and became a popular doll.

        For as long as I can remember, I associated her with this song from the 1940s:

I'M A LONELY LITTLE PETUNIA IN AN ONION PATCH 

Of all the saddest words 

That I have ever heard 

The saddest is the story 

Told me by a bird 

He had spent about an hour 

Chatting with a flower 

and here ís the tale the flower told

I'm a lonely little petunia in an onion patch, 

an onion patch, an onion patch 

I'm a lonely little petunia in an onion patch 

and all I do is cry all day 

Boo hoo, boo hoo.

Listen at :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8p4u7ZcOWnA

I relate to poor Pearl for in the last year or so I have had quite a few lonely, boo hoo days. 

Since I have been dealing with multiple health issues, those days have increased. 

Chronic illness can take the stuffin' right out of you: little or no energy, no stamina, 

fatigue and whatever symptoms are causing your limitations, including pain.

I came up with a way that helps me get out of the onion patch. It allows me to be that

lovely petunia, who is able to say, "Be gone, Pitiful Pearl!"

The next post I'll share my Pity Party Bashers

Selah-

Connie

.

Seed PLanting

You are invited to visit my other blogs:

 http://www.gemlode.blogspot.com, where a study of Noah (Genesis 6-9) is beginning.

And follow me as I write my first book at. http://www.consforgetfulpeople.blogspot.com

Selah,
Connie

I am amazed...

I've seen dragonflies at lakes and ponds most of my life, but until recently, when I watched a brief documentary, I knew little about them except their beautiful iridescent wings

What amazed me most was that dragonflies are expert fliers. They have four wings; each moves independently. Thus they can fly straight up and down, hover like a helicopter and even eat and mate in mid-air. They can fly up to 30 mph.

Nearly all of the dragonfly’s head is its compound eye. They have incredible vision that encompasses almost every angle except right behind them.

The eggs are laid in the water, where there plenty of "baby food." When the reach adulthood, they climb a plant stalk . Once above water, they can breathe. A small section opens, & the dragonfly emerges, dries its wings & flies.

Adult dragonflies eat insects, placing quite a control over the mosquito population. A single dragonfly can eat 30 to hundreds of mosquitoes per day. Yet they never bite humans.

The next time you see one, maybe you'll agree with Eistein and I:

                

       CHILDREN OF ETERNITY

 By Joseph J. Mazzella, Guest Blogger

     

With the ever increasing speed of change in today’s world, I have to admit that for the first time I am beginning to feel my age.

When I was a boy being online meant helping my Mom hang up my jeans on the clothesline behind our house.

Twitter was what you heard from the birds in the trees.

There was no Facebook although I often had my face in a book.

A smartphone was one with a long cord so you could walk around while you talked to someone.

A mouse was something our cat chased.

And a computer was that strange thing with the blinking lights I saw on the science fiction television shows.

These days I have learned how to work a desktop computer and I am grateful every day that I
took a typing class in high school. Yet, it seems like there is always a message on my screen
asking me to update my software and I am concerned that as soon as I learn the new system it
will already be out of date.

My daughter can work her smart phone with the skill of a concert violinist. Whenever I need the answer to something fast I ask her, she asks her phone, and we have the answer. Still, I am thankful that she turns it off from time to time. Every day I see teenagers with their heads permanently bent to their phones while life passes them by. I am not worried about where this technological trip is taking us, though.

I know that all roads lead to the same place. We are children of eternity and eventually we all must return to
God and His Love. Our smart phones and social media won’t be making the trip with us, either. The only things we can take with us are what we have learned and the love we have shared. The only computer we will be carrying into the next life is the software of our souls.

Don’t give your life over to technology then. Instead, use technology to help you share your
love, shine your light, and spread your joy. Use it to help others and make this world a better
place. Use it in a way that makes God smile and the angels sing. And then after you are done
turn it off.

Remember, what is essential is inside of you. You may be a child of technology, today but you are child of eternity, forever!

Hauntingly beautiful.

Turning Over a New Page of Life

Dear Reader,

In spite of circumstances related to health issues, my writing has been sporadic.

However, I now have an incentive: Through Jerry Jenkins Writers Guild I have just joined a group of 5-6. We will help each other, encourage one another, hold one another accountable and do critiques. 

We're just setting up a system that will work for various time zones.

One is 37 & I think I'm the oldest... we're still getting to know one another. But the mix seems good: 2 men & 4 ladies. Mostly non-fiction writers.

The Guild also provides teaching and resources for success.

My glass is half full & I'm not giving up.

Erma Bombeck said it well: "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"

Guest Post

                  A GLIMPSE OF HIS SOUL

                       By: Joseph J. Mazzella

     YEEEE!  The sound jarred me out of my dreams on a cold, Winter’s night.  I sat up, threw aside my blankets, and fumbled for my glasses in the dark.  I opened my bedroom door and saw a light coming from the bathroom.  I knew then that it was my youngest son, Casey.

     Casey has had a severe form of Autism all of his life.  He speaks only a few words and is bound by his daily routines.  Small changes that we handle easily feel like the end of the world to him.  Sometimes when he’s upset he will cry uncontrollably, scratch his face, or hit himself.

      This time, however, I knew from the noise he was making that he was happy.  He was engaging in his favorite Winter pastime, sitting on the closed toilet seat while warming his feet on the heating vent next to it.  I walked into the bathroom and said, “It’s late son.  Time to go back to bed.”  Then I leaned over, kissed his forehead, and looked into his eyes.

      At that moment something happened that touched me to my soul.  Suddenly, there was no Casey and no me. There was only light.  I felt like I was floating on a lake of love and joy

surrounded completely by a Divine presence.  It was a moment of perfect peace.  Then I blinked

and when I opened my eyes again there was only my son smiling up at me. 

I think that for a moment God had allowed me to see a glimpse of my son’s true soul, unlimited by his handicapped mind.  I knew that it was one far brighter, stronger, and more loving than my own.  I felt so blessed being able to see it.  I thanked God again for my son while I watched him walk back to his bedroom.

     For all of human history the mentally handicapped have been looked down upon in our societies.  They have been ostracized, tormented, neglected and ignored.  Yet the truth is they are the best souls among us.  They are here on a special mission from Heaven to teach us about love, patience, compassion, and selflessness.  They are here to help our own souls to grow in beauty and light.  They are a blessed gift from God and we should accept them all, welcome them into our hearts, and embrace the lessons they teach.  May we always do so.

2016

WITH CHILD

a gasp, a cry
an exhausted mother's sigh
a father's teardrops
a heavenly umbilical cord cut and tied

a sweet aroma of fresh hay
a tiny gurgle as rosebud lips find milk
a whispered prayer
a naming as God commanded

a squeak of rafters as birds and mice gather
a gentle breeze to fan the fire
a clip and clop of a donkey's feet
a quiet baa-aa and a gentle moo

a ray of starlight
a flutter of angel wings
a silence
a moment realizing God's sacrifice- His only Son

a yip of a sheepdog on th hillside
an owl's hoot as he hunts
a rowdy laugh from the inn
a braying camel on the dusty road

a mother and babe sleep
a father watches
an angel guards
a world waits

May you be blessed with a quietness in your soul.

Selah...

Shalom, Connie

[written by me]

"It’s Looking A Lot Like Christmas"

  Snow at my house.

I just need to ask, how does Christmas look?

I have watched PBS's Christmas in France. The customs varied from area to area- Paris celebrated differently than they did in the countryside. There were beautiful, snowy scenes; even a horse-drawn sleigh. Is that how Christmas looks?

Or is it the Christmas pageant with little ones dressed in shepherds robes or wearing crowns like the 3 kings? Is it the live manger scene in front of the big church downtown? Or it is the Christmas tree with colorful gifts underneath? It is midnight mass? The company party?

Having been a nurse for 50 years, I have worked many Christmases caring for sick, injured, sad, lonely, dying people? Is that how Christmas looks? 

For each of us it is different; and it may change from year to year.

As I prepare throughout Advent for the celebration of Christ's birth, I try to envision Christmas from the viewpoint of the angels, of Joseph, of the shepherds, of Mary, and so on. But I never thought of Christ's birth from His grandmother's point of view.

Guess it's because my son left today to join his family in another state. The weather is bad.  I'm not sure if he arrived safely. He may be stranded.

As a mom, I am wondering if he's in an airport or was he able to get a room? Are my grandkids okay? Do they have a place to lay their heads tonight?

Is that what  "Christmas" may have been for Mary's mother? Was she worrying about about Mary traveling when she was so close to her delivery time? Was she concerned that they'd find a place to stay? Did she realize that it would be more than days, more than even weeks or months before she'd met her grand baby? Did she understand who this baby was?

Was "Christmas" a day of continuous prayer for Mary's safety? Or had this mother disowned her daughter? Was she going to accept a baby that wasn't even Joseph's? How would she react when the King decrees that all males under two must die?

So many questions...

All I know for sure is that I want to…

¯Go Tell It On the Mountain that Jesus Christ Is Born!¯

Selah...

Think on this.

Connie

PAUSE

This season of the year is seldom a time of stillness. 

Our already busy lives just shift into a higher gear.

Pause.

Take a Breath.

Think calmness, serenity, gentleness, quiet...

Be still!

Selah-

Connie

My Secret is Out

The best news this year is the official completion of my third grandchild's adoption. He now has a forever family! 

SAM* has been with my son's family for over a year, but as a foster child I was not able to share anything about him.

On July 4^th, 2014, he called me Gramma for the first time while watching the fireworks from my backyard. My heart did a happy dance.

Sam will be 8 this month. He is in 2nd grade and does well at school. He likes small cars & always seems to have one or two in his pockets. One of his first visits to my apartment, I showed him where to find all the Matchbox cars. I think it was the first step toward accepting me as his grandma. 

He has quite an adult vocabulary and is not shy about sharing his opinions. Over the summer he took swim lessons, fall of 2014 he played soccer and he loves their trampoline. He’s very active and talkative from the moment his eyes open until bedtime.

It has filled my heart to overflowing watching my son, who I adopted when he was 7 weeks old, enfolding his adopted son with an abundance of love. The family has adjusted well...good thing because this is FOREVER.

I love Sam’s hugs. At first, he copied whatever his brother and sister did, but in February I received the first spontaneous hug. It felt so special! I knew I was really becoming his Gramma. 

This past summer he gave me a small golden-colored glass heart. saying, "I bought it with my own money, Gramma. And I would only get the gold one for you." 

This cherished heart sits on a small mirror in a place of honor.

By the way, Sam and I have a goal: to walk the Loop together. [That is the street they live on. It is one mile around. I haven’t been able to walk it since 2006.] By the time I complete cardiac rehab', I hopefully can do it.

So glad my secret can be shared with you... because my #3 grandchild is very special just like his big brother and sister.

* Name changed for privacy.

Thanks-Living

   Lord, You bless me in many ways.

 

​When we give thanks, we bless ourselves & others, 

but when we're thanks-living, we bless God.

I am going through my blessing bowl to remind myself of people & events that have blessed my heart this year.

At the same time, I am expressing my heartfelt gratitude to God as I read each one. And I am asking Him to open our eyes to see unknown blessings He provides, as well.

Let us focus on our Lord, the lover of our souls, as we celebrate Thanksgiving Day.

Connie