My electric company sends a monthly magazine & I actually look forward to reading it. Regional events are highlighted, an article on photography with good tips, the latest electrical news or explanations,  and a page for requests. 

Every few months I send birthday cards requested for 90-100-year-old folks. This month I sent 3 cards plus a brief letter in response to a senior wanting some books.

She wrote me right back & I sent my first package to her. We've decided to also be pen pals to encourage each other. We both have health issues including decreased mobility. We probably will never meet, but that is the joy of cyberspace and postage stamps.

I'm excited to have a new friend!

9/13/22

I've sent 2 more large brown envelopes & received a long letter plus a homemade card. What fun getting to know each other.

9/20/22

On the topic of friends, I read this today. Mull it over with me.

Friends come and go throughout our lives. Some friendships are brief; others last, but...

"The best kind of people are the ones that come into your life and make you see the sun where once you saw clouds. The people that believe in you so much, you start to believe in you, too. The people that love you, simply for being you. The once in a lifetime kind of people."

Author, Joyce Landorf calls them "Balcony People." I have been blessed with several over the years. Only 9 months with a teacher, who nurtured me and helped me realize my potential. Another teacher taught me more than English and took me underwing for over 3 years. My childhood babysitter still remains my dearest friend for over 70 years. My nursing school classmate proves that miles apart don't matter when you're connected by the heart.

Many doctors, nurses, pastors, and even a Scottish Bible Scholar have mentored me and are a part of who I have become.

My silver-white hair reminds me that it is my turn to encourage and share wisdom... to be a Balcony Person through my writing and relationships. 

Because if God can speak through a donkey, He can speak through anything and anyone. We need to be attentive to the words of others, always listening for the voice of the Lord. For after Balaam's donkey talked, life was never the same. *

* from God's Graffitti by Tim Bertram

(See Numbers 22:21-25 for Balaam's story.)

Colors

My memory of art college was spending every Saturday buying what my son needed for his next week’s projects.
 “More colored pencils?” I asked; “You have at least a hundred by now.”
 “But I don’t have these,” he replied.
“Haven’t you learned to blend colors yet?” I asked… as I paid.

 Months later while we were traveling to Grand Rapids to spend a relaxing weekend, my son asked me to count the number of greens I saw. It was lovely spring day, my favorite season; and I wasn’t on-call for two whole days. So I smiled and began counting, but within a few minutes I lost track of whether that was a new green or not. The Creator of the Universe had painted the waking of nature with myriads of greens in all its shades, tints, and hues.

“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts;” wrote Marcus Aurelius.

And this mother told her son, “You can have as many colored pencils as you’d like.”

Today, my son is a successful graphic designer and I am a colorist a.k.a., a color-er. I started with a set of colored pencils and an adult coloring book to pass the time and to keep from being bored.

 Soon I added gel pens…








                                                     then a cart to hold all of them.

 I never seem to have just the right shade. Sound familiar?

I love the flow of ink on the paper and seeing the combination of multiple shades of a color group form a flower. I’ve graduated from a 12 per box to 120 and still want more choices.

 The transition from threads and yarns to ink actually came first. The colors I use for my needlework add dimension and texture. My grandson called it threading (drawing with thread) when he was a toddler. 

Coloring does pass the time for this homebound woman. As a bonus, I have discovered bright colors becoming bridges to happy memories and problem-solving becomes easier while coloring. Best of all, coloring connects me to the author of all colors.

 I am thankful we earthlings were given eyes with “some of the most complex structures in all of nature. The human eye can take in a million simultaneous impressions and can tell the difference between eight million different colours.” (@http://www.eyesite.co.uk/news/humans-vs-animals-who-has-better-vision/)

 Jürgen Moltmann wrote, “Our disappointments, our loneliness and our defeats do not separate us from him (God); they draw us more deeply into communion with him.”It is when I’m coloring that I understand that the best.

 And it is through the eyes of others I see what my walls hide from me: [As I run each day] “ I learn to notice perfect strangers who go out of their way to share a smile; I pay attention to dogs grinning as they walk their owners; and my eyes are drawn, again and again, to nature waking up.” ~ Ryan J. Pemberton

From my friend, Joseph

  GROWING YOUNGER

 

   By: Joseph J. Mazzella

 

          I was about to shave this morning when I caught my reflection 

in the mirror.  There was no doubt about it.  My body was growing 

older.  My formerly thick hair which used to be brown with a touch

of gray was now gray with a touch of brown.  It was hard to see on 

top too with little of it left there.  My forehead wrinkles had become 

permanent and when I smiled a hundred more curled up around my 

eyes and mouth.  I thought about letting my beard grow for a second

but didn’t really want to look like Santa Claus.  When I stepped back 

I could see I had gotten chunkier as well because while my 

metabolism had slowed my eating hadn’t.  My muscles also tended to 

be achier and my body creakier.  And the file clerk in my mind seemed 

to be misplacing things a lot more often.  I was even thinking of writing 

stuff down more so I could remember what I came into a room for.  

In spite of it all, though, when I looked in the mirror again I caught a 

sparkle in my eyes. I smiled and felt a joy in my heart. I knew that 

no matter what my reflection looked like, my soul was forever young.

 

       The truth is while I have been steadily growing older on the outside 

I have for a while now been growing younger on the inside.  I can 

remember how serious, stressed, and worried I was in my twenties 

and thirties.  I often felt like the weight of the world was on my 

shoulders. Now at fifty three my heart feels lighter and my days look 

brighter. I feel like a true “Child” of God free to laugh, to sing, to 

dance, to love, and to help others do the same.  I worry less and 

smile more. I have a lot more faith and a lot less fear. I let my love 

lead me and face the pains and problems of this world with the 

loving-kindness of the next.

 

       In the end all of our bodies will wear out and die, but WE won’t. 

Our young souls will go on forever.  Spend your days growing younger 

then. Let the child within you live and love.

Heart of Wisdom

It's been over a month since my last post and I am approaching another birthday...#76!

My Christmas celebration with my family was very special this year as I am feeling so much better and able to do more. I went to the Christmas Eve candlelight service. [It's been at least five years since I've been inside a church.] I wrapped my own gifts and, with the help of my caregiving elves, I made Christmas dinner and some goodies to share!

Then on New Year's Day, I pondered my 3/4 of century life and once again chose the above verse as my 2020 goal. In keeping with that goal, I would like to recommend the book I am using as a daily devotional: Jonathon Cahn's The Book of Mysteries. 

I am not always consistent with my desires, but so far I've followed through by reading the devotion for the day every day for 31 days. That's how much I am enjoying it. Each one-page mystery challenges me. It stirs up my little gray cells and leads me to think where I haven't been before. It prompts me to look at myself and note my shortfalls and to fix them. Truly, the "heart of wisdom."

To my delight, I have been able to write again. Two short stories have been submitted to the Chicken Soup for the Soul books and more are in process.

Before sending my stories, I have shared them with my caregivers. Their responses have encouraged me and I hope my stories have encouraged them. For 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says "Encourage one another and build each other up." Being home-bound doesn't free me from that command.

I also finished reading Billy Graham's last book, Nearing Home, which he wrote seven years before his death at age 99. I related to much of his writing as I, too, am nearing home. He wrote several bits of wisdom that touched my heart. I'd like to share a few with you.

      "...every day--without exception--is a gift from God, entrusted to us to use for His glory."

      "Old age does not exempt us from fulfilling our purposes in life...for the time He has given you is not without purpose."

      When asked what surprised him the most in the aging process, Billy Graham replied, "The loss of strength to do the simplest things: getting up from a chair, having the endurance to visit with someone longer than an hour, or just going to the doctor's office... the loss of strength, the sheer inability to keep going." Wow, can I relate! This week I had four doctor appointments. The last one I agreed to use a wheelchair. I am exhausted.

      There is no fountain of youth. "The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life (Proverbs 14:27)." I love how he explained "the fear of the Lord."

      "It is contrary to being afraid of Him. God would not have sent His Son to earth to communicate with us if He wanted humanity to be fearful of approaching Him. This wonderful phrase throughout Scripture is a reminder to be in reverential awe of God, to love Him with our whole being and commit ourselves joyfully to Him in all things."

I'll let you ponder those thoughts.

'Til next time,

             4Him2u, I am Connie

Rust and More Rust

 

Plus:

• History of hypertension - w/ diastolic dysfunction 
• Gout with urate nephropathy - improved on Uloric 
• RLS 
• OSA on CPAP 
• arthritis multiple sites
• Depression     
• History of diabetes mellitus - 20+ yrs 
• osteopenia ~s/p bilateral TKR for OA ~s/p shoulder repair (left) 
• hypoventilation syndrome, ~mild restrictive lung disease (based on low FVC), reduced DLCO 
• PTCA Sept. 2015- dual antiplatelet regimen for 1 yr, complicated by aspiration pneumonia 
• HFpEF ~bilateral pulmonary embolisms - 10/2017 
• severe c spine DISH - s/p fusion C3-6, now severe disc space narrowing C2-3, C6-7 1/18 c spine MRI- 
• mental status change related to narcotics per Dr. P
• SIRS due to cellulitis 11/2018  ~persistent erysipelas 2019 - BMC ID- on Keflex 500 mg bid on-going

These are how my doctor sees me. I am showing you what I deal with daily, and my medication list is even longer.

• These diagnoses are my rust ... rust that has been accumulating for years. Although I am a retired nurse, the interactions of my rust and my medications are complex. Therefore, I have a nurse case manager to assist me, including advocating for me, as needed; and in-home caregivers four hours each day. 
• 
• Sorry, Maxine is having a crotchety moment ... as usual. 
• Until next time, when I continue on the subject of rust. Take care.
•                  Connie
• 
  

I've not posted in 18 months due to health issues. For over a year, I've had a skin infection similar to cellulitis complicated by edema (swelling due to excess fluid) of both lower legs. I remain on antibiotics for the remainder of my life. 

Over the months ahead I will share how I have dealt with chronic pain and chronic illnesses, learned to ask and to accept help, managed my caregivers, adjusted and focused on altered goals, found new ways to avoid depression and more.

I desire to help other seniors cope with their "golden years" including those she cares about. A very old Dutch granmama once told me, "Hoi, they forgot to mention the rust in the golden years."

Join me as we identify and control "the rust."

Shattered

Last week I dropped a brand new bowl while unpacking it. Before looking, I heard it shatter into many pieces. I felt sad for a moment, but four others remained intact.

More important is the possibility that I have shattered two friendships- one fairly new, the other nearly ten years in the making.

I know what I did... what I said. Would it have been preferable to be dishonest? 

Someone said:

The question for me is what to do now. Do I try to put those pieces back together again? 

Or maybe our season is over.

I am blessed with two-lifetime friends. One for 50 years and the other over 60 years. Both of them have been there for me through the bad times as well as the good. We always are able to pick up where we left off. Miles never separate us. I appreciate both of you!

As I think it over, I may need to consider that my life is coming to a close. It could be best to focus on those who encourage and support me rather than drain my limited energy. But it is hard to be self-focused, as I have been a "fixer" and an encourager most of my life.  

However, like Fagin sang, ♪ I'm Reviewing the Situation.♪

"A man's got a heart, Hasn't he? Joking apart, Hasn't he?

What happens when I'm Seventy. Must come a time, seventy

When you're old and it's cold and who cares if you live or you die...

"I think I'd better think it out again!"

Fagin in the musical "Oliver"

Selah - thinking on this

Connie

“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it...” 

― Nicholas Sparks, At First Sight

                

       CHILDREN OF ETERNITY

 By Joseph J. Mazzella, Guest Blogger

     

With the ever increasing speed of change in today’s world, I have to admit that for the first time I am beginning to feel my age.

When I was a boy being online meant helping my Mom hang up my jeans on the clothesline behind our house.

Twitter was what you heard from the birds in the trees.

There was no Facebook although I often had my face in a book.

A smartphone was one with a long cord so you could walk around while you talked to someone.

A mouse was something our cat chased.

And a computer was that strange thing with the blinking lights I saw on the science fiction television shows.

These days I have learned how to work a desktop computer and I am grateful every day that I
took a typing class in high school. Yet, it seems like there is always a message on my screen
asking me to update my software and I am concerned that as soon as I learn the new system it
will already be out of date.

My daughter can work her smart phone with the skill of a concert violinist. Whenever I need the answer to something fast I ask her, she asks her phone, and we have the answer. Still, I am thankful that she turns it off from time to time. Every day I see teenagers with their heads permanently bent to their phones while life passes them by. I am not worried about where this technological trip is taking us, though.

I know that all roads lead to the same place. We are children of eternity and eventually we all must return to
God and His Love. Our smart phones and social media won’t be making the trip with us, either. The only things we can take with us are what we have learned and the love we have shared. The only computer we will be carrying into the next life is the software of our souls.

Don’t give your life over to technology then. Instead, use technology to help you share your
love, shine your light, and spread your joy. Use it to help others and make this world a better
place. Use it in a way that makes God smile and the angels sing. And then after you are done
turn it off.

Remember, what is essential is inside of you. You may be a child of technology, today but you are child of eternity, forever!