From the Heart

From my Prayer Journal:

Lord and Lover of My Soul, I am at a loss for words. I am not 

sure how to pray for this COVID-19 situation. But You know my

heart’s desires. I trust in Your promises of comfort, support, 

protection, and strength for myself and those within my world. 

Help us overcome all temptations that will cause harm to ourselves

or others. With deep gratitude, I thank you for blessing us beyond

what we need. And I ask Your blessing upon all those who are 

working to provide our needs and those making the difficult 

decisions. It is in You, we find peace and joy. Thank you

for loving me and mine no matter what! Amen.

Heart Rehab

This is a NuStep exerciser that I use in Cardiac Rehab. It's like walking while you are sitting. It tracks several things including the number of steps, the minutes you're exercising, calories used and how far you walk. I have gone 1-1 1/2 miles per session- more than I thought I could.

Because I have a heart monitor on, I feel safe; and therefore, willing to push past my limits. The Cardiac Rehab team are great encouragers, as they monitor my progress.

I go two times per week to exercise plus a class weekly to help me change my life style.The others are at different stages. Two have "graduated..." meaning they have completed all 38 sessions and are committing to continuing their new life style. Some have had open heart surgery, heart attacks or, like me, have new stents.
They, too, encourage me to keep trying because I will feel better and I will increase my energy level and stamina.

This week will be sessions four and five with 33 to go!

My goal is to walk Ponderosa Loop, which is a mile around, with my wonderful gran'kids.[I haven't been able to walk it since the oldest was in pre-school.]

Stay tuned as I progress on the NuStep and take new steps towards being healthier.
Connie

Fatigue is much more than being tired

Fatigue is incapacitating and makes you…

F rail and vulnerable, and

A nxious including doubting your value.

T ired in the extreme and lonely, but you have no energy for a visitor.

I rritable, impatient and you are unable to concentrate or focus.

G oalless and “woe is me” sets in along with a

U seless roller coaster of emotions resulting in the need for

E ncouragement

Coping with fatigue is a difficult challenge because of the above. I felt like the world was moving around me, but I was not part of it. I was not even part of my own world. I could not think at a depth needed for writing. Some days I could not complete the simplest Sudoku puzzle or follow the plot of a TV mystery or other movies.

Thankfully, I slept much of those first weeks. As my naps became shorter and further apart, I decided to create a new routine for each day. Without a bit of structure, my days melded one into another and I felt a skewed sense of time.

My doctor’s instruction began and ended my day. To this I added, for at least 10 minutes each:

           Write a memory in each of the grandkids’ Gramma books.
            Knit on simple afghan.
           Write a note to a friend.
           Read something fun.
           Play a computer game or Sudoku.

The above actions were to be spaced throughout my day, as I had to pace myself in order to complete anything. Cooking for me was literally do step 1 and rest, step 2 and rest, etc. Normal activities of daily living took extremely long. There were days I could not get dressed. On my worst days, I tried to do at least one out of the five.

Consider this when you or a loved one is ill- especially those with chronic illness and/or pain and terminal conditions.

Selah… think on this.

Connie

Prayer for Restoration from Fatigue*:

Gracious God, As my body is depleted of energy, my mind loses focus. My tired spirit sags as if it were a balloon losing its air. Sometimes even restorative sleep eludes me. Help me avoid what drains rather than feeds me. Nudge me to take time to sit in perfect stillness while You massage my soul. When I go to bed, wrap Your love around me like the softest shawl that I may sleep peacefully in Your embrace. Because and through Your Son, I ask all this so I may fulfill Your call on my life. Amen.

*Adapted; original source unknown

~ ~ ~

RETURNING...

Yeah! I have returned with a new computer-- used, but with the hope it will last awhile. In addition, during my time offline, I have had a life-style change.

Briefly, I went into heart failure resulting in my doctor's orders, "Just rest for the next two weeks." Actually, activities of necessity were all I could tolerate. Resting was easy at first. Movies and sleep filled my days. Then boredom set in. In spite of no energy, I had to be doing something.

[Here's where you ask, "How bored were you?"]

I set to cleaning out my  four drawer filing cabinet. Now that is really BORED. In the process... done very slowly... I alphabetized my writing, sorted it into completed and "still workin' on it." I started a box for donations and one for disposal. 

It took weeks to accomplish it, but I felt better having completed a project. Meanwhile, after the expected 2-3 weeks of rest, I had not improved leading to wearing a heart monitor for the 30 days of June.

[The results are back and I am now waiting for an appointment with the cardiologist.]

I have been reflecting on the value of the weeks of downtime I have experienced. Was there a purpose for my idleness? 

I believe that God never wastes any moments of our lives. Thus I began pondering over the last 3 months. I will be sharing my thoughts in future posts. 

Tomorrow, I will start with fatigue, one of the major symptoms for those with both acute and chronic illnesses.

I am glad to be back! Welcome to new and old readers!